Peace

Saturday, April 29, 2006
breathe in

heyy peep.
feeling quite weird today. thought i blog down some of my thoughts.

i had alot of sleep since friday. was lying on my bed on friday, just enjoying the night. without having to worry about tmr, just slacking you know.. i just went thru what i tout would be a horrible week. with so many deadlines, test, and a handful of other stuff.

somehow i woke up this morning feeling kinda philophical. yea tat sounds weird but well tats how i felt.. was thinking about how fragile life is. picture this
well jennifer(just a name i snapped out) is an ordinary girl(dun ask me why girl, you can call her john and make her a guy if u really want). studies in an alrite secondary sku, alrite grades, not too good, but not all the Fs.. does her cca and stuffs. well basically leads an ordinary life and stuff.. scenario 1: she goes out with her frens one day, buys a macdonalds meal, happens to have some promotion of a million dollar cash prize lucky draw, and well she wins it. when interviewed by the press on her feelings, she gets lucky and gets hooked up with the media and becomes a multimillion aire becos of her hidden talent in talking on tv(is there even such a thing? have no idea buts lets just say la..). Her life has changed forever. she wears, talks, acts -and well i dunno what else -differently. money changes people. she circle of frens changes. well yea u get the picture..
one day she walks on the road. a car comes out from nowhere and well she's now stuck on the hosipital bed. paralysis head down. her career in the media fades as shes now unable to well be part of her career. her career has walked infront of her leaving her behind in that bed of sickness.
health changes people.

do we really take things for granted?

i had dinner with edwin earlier today, he needed to show me a photo regarding some police business. aniwae, he told me marco is leaving sg tmr. told me about how marco felt 'weird' being arnd me cos of the past sj stuffies. loads of memories came back to me. the old sj days. haha. its a long story and i dun want to bring it up anymore. let it just be part of my past tense...
i tout of some other events in my past which are quite well, i cant really think of the word touse, but in essence, doubled sided. thought of them on the train back home. it led me some pain and anguish. i probably lost some frens becos of those actions. do i regret? nope. i knew wat i did was right. i did everything in with the best intentions in mind, if people cant live with it den i guess i m just sorry things dun work out..
mum and dad's having some problems again. saw the tension about 3 hours ago when they came home from chinatown. a strong feeling welled inside of me. it felt lyk anger. i just wanted to show and smash something. it was hurt. i dunno why i felt that way.

someone is crying out in the world tonight. i m sure of it. somewhere theres a lonely person who feels lyk she/he is dying becos no one really seems to care. if only we knew. if only we knew how our frens were feeling inside underneath all the sheets and covers. this sounds really clishe but its it the truth? dont we take frens for granted, dont we take loved ones for granted? dont we take the comforts in our society for granted? i m sure we do. i was thinking ytd if i came home to find out some day that i had one less brother in the world or one less parent. how i felt. a great sense of saddness came over me. something i never felt before. even in an hypothetical situation. pain sored. pple hu noe me know i m not the best at showing emotions or feeling sad and stuff. but this shook me. have we all grown so indifferent that we dont care at all? i never want to lose a loved one without them knowing how i feel. but society today has changed everything right? go figure.

a shout out to any of my frens, anyone at all. if theres ever a time where goodbyes cant be dont properly, i want u to noe, i cared. no more apathy. i cared.

[ Peace out! ]
at11:04 PM

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