Saturday, April 29, 2006
breathe in

heyy peep.
feeling quite weird today. thought i blog down some of my thoughts.

i had alot of sleep since friday. was lying on my bed on friday, just enjoying the night. without having to worry about tmr, just slacking you know.. i just went thru what i tout would be a horrible week. with so many deadlines, test, and a handful of other stuff.

somehow i woke up this morning feeling kinda philophical. yea tat sounds weird but well tats how i felt.. was thinking about how fragile life is. picture this
well jennifer(just a name i snapped out) is an ordinary girl(dun ask me why girl, you can call her john and make her a guy if u really want). studies in an alrite secondary sku, alrite grades, not too good, but not all the Fs.. does her cca and stuffs. well basically leads an ordinary life and stuff.. scenario 1: she goes out with her frens one day, buys a macdonalds meal, happens to have some promotion of a million dollar cash prize lucky draw, and well she wins it. when interviewed by the press on her feelings, she gets lucky and gets hooked up with the media and becomes a multimillion aire becos of her hidden talent in talking on tv(is there even such a thing? have no idea buts lets just say la..). Her life has changed forever. she wears, talks, acts -and well i dunno what else -differently. money changes people. she circle of frens changes. well yea u get the picture..
one day she walks on the road. a car comes out from nowhere and well she's now stuck on the hosipital bed. paralysis head down. her career in the media fades as shes now unable to well be part of her career. her career has walked infront of her leaving her behind in that bed of sickness.
health changes people.

do we really take things for granted?


i had dinner with edwin earlier today, he needed to show me a photo regarding some police business. aniwae, he told me marco is leaving sg tmr. told me about how marco felt 'weird' being arnd me cos of the past sj stuffies. loads of memories came back to me. the old sj days. haha. its a long story and i dun want to bring it up anymore. let it just be part of my past tense...
i tout of some other events in my past which are quite well, i cant really think of the word touse, but in essence, doubled sided. thought of them on the train back home. it led me some pain and anguish. i probably lost some frens becos of those actions. do i regret? nope. i knew wat i did was right. i did everything in with the best intentions in mind, if people cant live with it den i guess i m just sorry things dun work out..
mum and dad's having some problems again. saw the tension about 3 hours ago when they came home from chinatown. a strong feeling welled inside of me. it felt lyk anger. i just wanted to show and smash something. it was hurt. i dunno why i felt that way.

someone is crying out in the world tonight. i m sure of it. somewhere theres a lonely person who feels lyk she/he is dying becos no one really seems to care. if only we knew. if only we knew how our frens were feeling inside underneath all the sheets and covers. this sounds really clishe but its it the truth? dont we take frens for granted, dont we take loved ones for granted? dont we take the comforts in our society for granted? i m sure we do. i was thinking ytd if i came home to find out some day that i had one less brother in the world or one less parent. how i felt. a great sense of saddness came over me. something i never felt before. even in an hypothetical situation. pain sored. pple hu noe me know i m not the best at showing emotions or feeling sad and stuff. but this shook me. have we all grown so indifferent that we dont care at all? i never want to lose a loved one without them knowing how i feel. but society today has changed everything right? go figure.

a shout out to any of my frens, anyone at all. if theres ever a time where goodbyes cant be dont properly, i want u to noe, i cared. no more apathy. i cared.


[ Peace out! ]
at11:04 PM

Thursday, April 13, 2006

i felt lyk blogging so..

heyy peep/
its been one heck of a tiring week. exhausted physically lyk nuts. sku work just cant seem to be done. its just always there. yawns i m tired. funny thing is, when i actually lie on my bed. i cant sleep. too much thoughts going thru my head. i cant help it. sometimes i wish i could forget everything. people. faces, memories. feelings. memories. haha. dream on.

i cant wait for my cast to be off. its super sian tat i cant exercise and play ball. its lyk i m gonna be rotting fer another 2 weeks or so. tat thought really puts me down..

i ve been on a mp3 addiction recently. i cant live a day without it. all i need in my lectures now is the ability to use my mp3 and confirm can stay awake de lor. gosh its quite bad. i nida pick up some nice solos. cant find any songs nice to learn. yawn.

pick me up from inside.
i m waiting.
still waiting..


i sing it while i feel i cant hold on.
i sing it because its all that comforts me..


[ Peace out! ]
at10:49 PM

Friday, April 07, 2006

hey people.

just to wrap up everything. not tat anyone really cares but, just towrap up.

i dont really want o bother myself with these things. i figured i said this before but i guess i gotta redo this thru. things dont work out simply because nobody wants to go the extra mile to do the extra something, the say the extra words, to well just about do the simple something. people lyk these just dont come in this generation now. yea maybe 'he' cos much hurt, but you noe wat? at least there was something about him i respect. that no one could replicate.

take and go. who really cares which hand feeds you right?


[ Peace out! ]
at10:00 PM

Sunday, April 02, 2006

heyy people.

i just came back from a round of blog hopping. just to see how everyone is doing and stuff..

it brings back lots of memories. i wonder if the same people i walked and ran those races in my life would one day come to my blog and actually read this post. reminence of the past we had. the fun, the joy, the laughter, the tears, the agony, the PAIN, the bonding. i really miss those times. simple things. complete trust. complete teamwork. everything. looking back. i MISS THEm..

things are tearing pple apart. i WISH i could talk to you. i wish i could tell u i still care. but things have changed hasnt it? complicate things. you know i never thought i would have to write something lyk this in my blog for the longest time. but i cant help it. when i see these people in this misery. I WISH i could tell you all how much i miss you. how much faith and believe how we can all still hope. it tears my heart apart.

i dun wanna think about it. but it hurts. its not lyk i m in pain. but i feel for you all. DAM.

take care ok. if u ever read this, take care.


[ Peace out! ]
at9:21 PM

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